Need
by 3wordsnevertold
Summary: It's been 90 years since the last time Bella saw Edward. She's worked hard on putting up her wall. But what happens when Edward and his family return to Forks where Bella works? Please Read! It's better than it sounds
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**** This is inspired by Hana Pestle's song Need. I do not own the fabulous characters in this story…Stephenie Meyer does (duh!) This IS my first fanfic so please be nice…constructive criticism works! I hope to put in one chapter up a day but we'll just see how it goes. I go back to school tomorrow so I might end up forgetting about this story. And my schedule might become too hectic and I'll probably only be able to update once a week. :( But just stay with me! Alright I'll let you get to reading, but first off…THE FULL SUMMARY! **

** P.S: if you want to see the outfits for this chapter, go to my profile the link should be there**

**SUMMARY**

It's been 90 years since Bella last saw Edward. And a lot has changed…especially Bella. She is now a vampire, turned by Victoria. The night Bella was changed, she left Forks and stayed away from there for 52 years. After a while, though, she felt the need to come back to the place she used to call home. Now it's been six years and she's still living in Forks, keeping up the façade that she's human **(A/N: I know. I used a butt load of math, but I had to)**. But what will she do when the inevitable happens? The Cullens return to Forks and it causes a lot of old scars to be rehashed. Will Bella run away again? Or will she face her fears? It all goes down here, in Need.

**(dun dun dunnnn! Ohhh hope that got your blood pumping!)**

**Chapter 1 – Alone **

I watched as the clock unremittingly ticked towards midnight. Once the long and short hand hit the twelve, I sighed deeply. _Another day…another day without...Edward,_ I was able to say his name in my head for a long, long time now. I had gotten over my fear the day I'd ran into Laurent in the meadow….the first time I had seen the wolves. I shivered at the foggy, human memory. I walked slowly up the stairs into my old bathroom. _Another day trying to live a life that I didn't want. Always alone, never wanted anywhere I go._

When I had come back to Forks six years ago, I had decided that I would live in my old house. I could feel my eyes prickle with no tears. I passed my father's empty room and stared straight ahead, not looking at the door. My dad…Charlie.

I had missed his funeral; he died thirty years ago…fatal heart attack. I didn't even know he had passed until I came back. The guilt hurts me in ways I never thought possible. Now I visit his grave every Sunday morning, bringing him fresh flowers. Even though Charlie's dead, I would assume that he lived his life happily…even if I wasn't in it. Whenever I go to visit him now, I tell him everything. I told him how I became a vampire and that Edward was on too…and Jake was a werewolf. It was so easy to tell him, given that he's six feet under.

I turned on the light and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked the same as I had fifty-eight years ago, forever frozen at thirty-two. I was a hollow shell, feeling as if no longer human or vampire. I looked at my eyes carefully to gage how many more days I had before I needed to hunt. I had taken on the same "vegetarian" diet as the Cullens had. The mere thought of killing someone's mother, father, son, or daughter repulsed me. I didn't want to be that monster.

My eyes were turning a dark shade of butterscotch. I had fed about a week and a half ago. I knew that if I wanted to protect the people at Forks High, I'd need to hunt. I pulled on a simple white long sleeve shirt, Charlie's old flannel jacket, and slipped on an old pair of ripped jeans and my Nike's.

I walked out the back sliding glass door and shut it quietly as I listened for the neighbors around me, my brain keeping tabs on who was still awake and who wasn't. I walked quietly until I got to the edge of the forest where I paused for a moment, taking a deep breath and smelling Charlie's still faint scent left on his shirt, before slipping into the dark canopy.

The jungles of Southern Africa were nothing compared to the forest surrounding Forks. The smell of dew and pine helped me keep a hold on my humanity. The trees blurred past me as I raced deeper into the woods, feeling the wetness of the rain on me from the trees. The ground slowly started to incline and I knew I was going up a mountain. Suddenly I caught the scent of about three elk and a mountain lion not too far away. I increased my speed as the animal inside took over and I let out a sharp, but low, growl.

The run back was soothing. My stomach was as full as it could get. As I quietly walked back into the house, I took off my boots, pants, and shirt and threw them in the hamper in the kitchen. I slowly walked up the stairs in nothing but my underwear, knowing that no one was going to see me at three o'clock at night. I turned the shower to hot and jumped in, washing the mud and dirt and blood from my hair and body, getting rid of any evidence that would give away to what I was.

By the time I was done I walked down the stairs in my robe and my head wrapped in a towel and plopped on the couch. I turned on the TV and watched CNN, catching up on anything I might have missed. By the time I was done, it was already six forty-five and I decided to get ready for work.

Over the years, I had slowly developed some sense of fashion, but I hadn't perfected it just yet. I pulled out my blue ruffle blouse, black tank top, black dress pant, and blue high heels. I slowly put them on, making sure everything looked perfect on the outside, so nobody would ask questions. I pulled on my cream peacoat and matching beret. I headed out the door and locked it behind me and climbed into my Infiniti.

I walked through the main entrance and turned into the office, saying "hi" to Ms. Taylor – the new secretary. I walked back out and headed down the hallway, having ten minutes before the students would start piling in for first period. I set my bag down on my desk and pulled out today's lesson plans.

I was the new Biology II teacher, and it was my sixth year of teaching it. When I realized I had only thirty copies of the study guide I was going to give the students, I walked out of my room and headed towards the library. I'd need at least sixty more copies for all five of my classes. I headed down the hallway until I came to the intersection of all four hallways of this school. When I went to round the right corner I stopped in my tracks – my body halfway hidden behind the wall. There, plain as day, were five bodies standing about eighty feet from me. They were inhumanly beautiful, and they had no heartbeat. They talked in low voices. I looked at each one individually. The two blondes, the short pixie-like one, the tall bulky one, and the one I hated to look at, knowing it would cause me immense pain. He was the one who had stayed by my side every night we were together, the one who was more beautiful, smart, or flawless than any other man. Edward Cullen was back…

**(uh-oh! A cliffy! Don't worry! I'll update soon! 3 3wordsnevertold)**


	2. Chapter 2  Unexpected

**A/N: One word…WOW! I never expected so many people would like my story. Now I'm definitely gonna update faster! I'm not really sure but I'll leave it up to my readers, should I put some EPOV in here or just stick with BPOV? Anyways, here you go! Chapter 2! So so so so sorry it took forever!**

**P.S: Edward's full outfit link is on my profile. (Hint: it's the same link as before)**

**Chapter – 2 Unexpected**

_Previously…_

_He was the one who had stayed by my side every night we were together, the one who was more beautiful, smart, or flawless than any other man. Edward Cullen was back…_

I stared straight ahead, my breathing stopped altogether. _No!,_ I thought to myself, _No! He…he can't be back! Not after I've gotten this far._ Suddenly I saw them grow quiet and five heads turned in my direction. My body became alive and I hid right behind the corner. I stopped breathing and prayed that they wouldn't see me.

_Please…please, just walk away…ignore it_, I begged them. I heard soft footsteps come near me. I quickly gauged the hallway to see if any teachers were in their rooms. I ran as fast as I could back to my room and locked the door behind me. I walked to my desk numbly and sank down into the seat as dry sobs wracked my body.

Why did they have to be here? I didn't come back only to run away again. I had sworn that after he left he'd stay away forever, that all of them would. I was wrong. I jerked upright when I heard the bell ring. I had to pull it together; any moment my students would be coming in. As I went to unlock my door, I realized that I never made my copies. I sighed at my stupidity, guess everyone would just share for the day and I'd give them all copies tomorrow.

I went to the board as my students piled in and wrote _Journal Entry # 114:_ _Mitosis_ in the neatest handwriting I could. And _What is it?_ right underneath. I went to my computer and brought up the PowerPoint that I'd need for this lecture.

When the late bell rang I shut my door and waited for them to take notice of the board. They all pulled out their notebooks and started writing. I walked around the room and observed them, my heels the only thing making noise as they clacked on the tile.

"Four more minutes," I stated, loud enough for all of them to hear. As I turned to go down the next isle, I realized that one blacktop table was completely empty. My eyebrows furrowed, if anything I had at least one student sitting at and extra table. I shook my head not bothering with it for now.

"Okay," I clapped my hands together, "Time's up! Who wants to share what they put?" I smiled as Rachel Connor put her hand up immediately. "Rachel."

"Mitosis is process where a eukaryotic cell divides to give two identical cells," she read from her notebook.

"That's very good, Rachel," I commended her. I went to the board and wrote that underneath _What is it?_, "Anyone else care to share theirs. Remember, you're not going to get a bad grade if your answer is incorrect. This is just refreshing your memory from Biology I." I heard someone open and shut the door quietly, but ignored it.

Ethan Stuart commented next, "Well it usually consists of four stages," he said shyly.

"Mmhhmm," I encouraged. I wrote _1,2,3,4 _on the board, "Anyone know what they are? They don't have to be in order. We'll worry about that when we come to it."

"Prophase, Metaphase, Anaphase and Telophase," a strikingly familiar, velvet voice said.

I froze for a second before writing them on the board. I took a deep breath and turned around towards the class, "That's correct," my voice sounded weird and I cleared it, "Can anyone tell me what each phase consists of?" Edward Cullen stared at me in shock. I tried to avoid his gaze. I took notice that he was sitting at the empty table; I did have another student…_him._

Rachel Connor raised her hand.

"Rachel," I was able to choke out.

"Well, Prophase starts with the one centriole going to the top of the cell and another to the bottom. Then the chromosomes go to the left and right of the cell…" she continued on, but I hardly paid attention. I was trying my very best to not look at him. I failed miserably.

There were so many questions in his eyes. And I knew that he'd want answers to all of them. But I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell him.

Once we discussed all the phases I went to the board and brought up the PowerPoint. And we went over the lab that we would be doing tomorrow with onion roots. I passed out the study guides.

When I came to Edward, I handed him the paper without looking at him. Our hands barely touched and I felt that surge of electricity I had that fateful day in Biology so many years ago. I jerked my hand back and moved on.

The bell finally rang and the students ran out the door, and I erased the board, getting ready for my next class.

"Bella?" he said suddenly behind me. I jumped and turned around, his face mere inches from me. He studied me for a moment, "You're alive!" he seemed relieved, "I…how did this happen?"

I stared at him for a long time. Why hadn't my memory done him justice? He was more flawless than I remember. I gazed into his molten gold eyes and nearly lost myself. His hand came cautiously up and tucked a lock of hair behind my ears.

"Please," I closed my eyes and turned my head away from his touch, his scent intoxicated me. I opened them and said, "Can we have this discussion after class? I have four more to teach," I begged him with my eyes, pleading that he'd leave and save this inevitable conversation for another time.

He waited for a moment and pursed his lips before saying, "Alright," and left just as easily as he had before. I watched him, mesmerized, as he smoothly walked out. I watched as his jeans hung loosely on his hips and his gray, long-sleeved sweater clinged to his back, accentuating every muscle.

I held on to the edge of my desk, feeling as if I might fall over any moment at his perfect body; a body that was once mine.

I crawled underneath my desk and pulled my knees to my chest, hoping that it would keep the deep gash in tact. Thank God this was my planning period. I could be alone in peace…silence was all I heard…

…Fully broken beyond repair. Apart of me wondered if he still held at least a little love for me. _He didn't want you,_ part of my mind told me. _But he acted like he needed me,_ the other half said. I put my hands over my ears, cutting off sound completely and trying to get the two warring voices to stop.

I sat under my desk for quite a while before I heard liquid footsteps come into my class room. "Bella?" they asked.

"Under here, Nori," I whispered.

Her heels clacked over to my desk and she bent down to look at me, "I know why you're like this," she stated softly, her golden eyes avoiding mine.

"How?" I asked her.

"The short, spiky one is in my English class."

"Alice," I explained.

"We can leave, move to Alaska."

"I can't. Not after I've already built a life for me here."

She sighed at my stubbornness, "You can't stay under here forever, Bells. You have to face him one way or another."

"I didn't want it to be like this. I planned on not seeing him ever again and now he comes back, threatening to ruin everything," I sobbed, burying my face in my knees.

"There's not really anything I can do or say right now is there?" she acknowledged.

"No," I sighed, "I just need to let it run its course."

"Alright then," she said as she stood back up and left

The bell rang and I crawled out from under my desk, brushing myself off and straightening my hair. The only other Cullen I had was Jasper, and it was hardly a distraction. He sat in the very back and only said, "It's nice to see you again, Bella," while leaving class. Other than that, the rest of the day went by in a blur. My mind kept racing back to Edward, which brought back a lot of bad memories.

His impassive eyes as he told me he neither loved me nor wanted me. They way he just easily left, as if it were no big deal…as if I were nothing as if every "I love you" and every kiss meant absolutely nothing to him anymore.

I leaned over my desk, trying to break the sobs that wanted to come out. All these memories that I'd kept locked in a vault – never to be returned to again – were suddenly out in the open for everyone to see.

I shot up though, someone was coming. I couldn't tell who, but they were approaching my classroom quickly. All at once, the door burst open and a shaking, black haired, pixie stood in front of me. Her whole frame quivering with delight, "Isabella Marie Swan?" her voice shook.

I sighed as a huge grin spread across my face, "Hello, Alice."

**(It's Alice! I wonder what their reunion will hold? Muahahahaha! Oh, and don't worry about Nori. You'll find out who she is in the next chapter or two! ~3wordsnevertold)**


	3. Chapter 3 Memory

**A/N: Here's Ch. 3! This is my longest chapter yet! Ohmigod!**

_Previously…_

_All at once, the door burst open and a shaking, black haired, pixie stood in front of me. Her whole frame quivering with delight, "Isabella Marie Swan?" her voice shook._

_I sighed as a huge grin spread across my face, "Hello, Alice."_

**Chapter 3 – Remembering**

"Bella," she squealed before running towards me. I ran towards her and we both met halfway, "I've missed you so much," she said into my hair as she squeezed me to her tiny, rock hard body.

"I've missed you too, Alice," I laughed.

"Hmmm," she pulled back and took two steps back to examine me. She rubbed her chin in thought.

I crossed my arms over my chest self-consciously, "What?"

"I see that your sense of fashion has become one hundred times better than the last time I saw you."

I rolled my eyes, "Well, of course. I could just show up at work in jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers."

"True," she agreed.

I looked at the clock on the wall, "Oh, shoot! I gotta get home and grade these papers!"

"Couldn't let me help, even a little," Alice mumbled angrily a few minutes later as we walked out to the parking lot.

"You forget I'm as strong as you," I laughed.

"Well, still," she threw up her hands as her Prada bag swung up and down, like she hated that it was the only thing she carried.

"Oh, fine," I couldn't stand the pouting pixie beside me anymore.

"Thank you, Bella!" she squealed as she took half of the stack of journals and I carried the other half including my laptop.

I walked ahead of her to get to my car and unlocked the backdoor. I set the journals down carefully and moved out of her way as she came to set hers down too.

"Thank you Alice," I laughed and hugged her.

She smiled evilly as she stood there not moving. I got into my car and she still stood there, "Alice," I rolled my eyes, "Where's your car?"

"Not here," she laughed, "Edward drove all of us today. And I told him to leave me here, that I would have a ride."

"And just how do you know that I'll…" but I stopped myself before I sounded stupid, "Oh. Get in," I sighed.

In a second she was in and buckled. I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot and headed home.

"Hold on," I grunted, "Let me open the door first."

"Hurry up, my arms asleep," she laughed.

"Ha ha ha," I laughed sarcastically.

I put the key in the doorknob and turned it. I opened the door and led Alice to the left, where my office was.

"Whoa," she said behind me as I set the journals in a plastic bin. She set hers in there absently, looking around my office, "When was this put in? I don't remember it!"

"I did it when I moved back in. I needed an office. Charlie's room wasn't an option," I mumbled the last sentence quickly, avoiding her gaze.

"Bella," she sighed sadly. I knew what was coming next.

"Don't worry about it. I'm…I'm fine," I tried to smile.

"What happened? How did all of this happen?"

"I can't just come out and tell you, Alice. It's more complicated than that," I mumbled, twiddling my thumbs.

"I'm practically your sister. You can tell me anything," she looked at me with her puppy eyes.

"It's a long story," I laughed with no humor, "Very long."

"Hmmm," she thought, "I got it! Why don't you come over to our house – it's the same one – tonight?"

"Alice, I…I don't"

"He won't be there," she mumbled pitifully, "He's going hunting tonight."

"By himself?" my eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah."

"What time will he be back?"

"He's leaving at ten and going way out. He won't be back until two," she said, her eyes going vacant for a moment, searching the future, "Enough time to tell us everything," it sounded like a question.

"Yes. I'll be over there at ten thirty," I told her.

Her face beamed, "Oh Esme is going to be so happy!" she suddenly hugged me and said, "Love you, Bells!" before darting out and I heard the door shut quietly.

I laughed. She was an odd ball, but that's what made me love her.

It was hard to concentrate on grading my students' journals. At some points it felt like the clock was moving too fast, and at others it felt like it went by too slow. I prayed that Alice wouldn't let him find out through her thoughts. The last thing I needed was an intense conversation with him.

By the time ten rolled around, I was finally on my last journal for the day. I put it in the bin and headed upstairs to change out of my work clothes and into something a little more casual and comfortable.

I put on an ivory sweater dress, black vertical stripe stockings, and navy blue knee-length suede boots. I pulled my hair back into a long pony tail grabbed my black coat and headed out the door to my car.

I remembered the drive to their house easily, given that it's been ninety years since I was last at their house. My nerves didn't hit me until I actually pulled in to their driveway. It had been a long time since I talked to any of them. What would I say? "Hey it's me Bella, uh, yeah I'm a vampire now just like you?" No! That would make me sound crazy. Wouldn't it?

Unfortunately I had no more time to think, for I was at their house. I turned off the car, took a big breath, let it out, and got out of the car. I felt like I was going to be sick. I walked up the porch steps and knocked softly on the door. It opened and Esme stood in front of me.

"Bella, oh it's so wonderful to see you, sweetheart," she grinned.

"You too, Esme," I smiled back and stepped in to hug her. If it weren't for the rest of the family standing off to the side, I would've cried. It'd been so long since I'd had a mother. Renee was long gone…so was Phil. He went a few years after her.

"Oh, Bella I'm so sorry, honey," Esme choked back dry tears.

"Esme," I choked out her name. The last time I had felt this much emotion was when I found out my dad was dead. Even then it was hardly anything; a couple minutes of sobbing and guilt, then I was numb.

She pulled back to look at me and shook her head, "I suppose I shouldn't hog you all to myself."

Alice stood in the back, grinning at me. Emmett was next to hug me, "Bella bear!" His voice boomed as he picked me up and swirled me around. He set me down and said, "Yes, now I don't have to be gentle with you."

"And you were before?"

"I had to be or Edward would've…" but Alice shushed him, "Nevermind."

Jasper followed Emmett giving me a hug and saying that I looked well. Carlisle hugged me just as Esme had. And again I felt my eyes prickle.

None of their reactions had caught me off guard…except Rosalie's. When Carlisle was done hugging me, I had turned around to see them all when Rosalie was right there in front of me. I froze, not exactly sure what she would do, "Bella," she said formally.

"Rosalie," I smiled gently at her. In one quick movement, I was in her arms being squeezed tightly.

"Bella, I'm…I'm so sorry," she whispered in my ear, regret in her voice, "About everything before."

"It's alright, Rose," I patted her back awkwardly, not sure what to make of this reaction. I looked around…and neither did the rest of the Cullens. She let go of me and said, "If you _ever_ tell Edward about any of this – and that goes for all of you – I will personally have something very horrific done to you. Besides," she fixed her hair, "he'd never let me live it down."  
"Well, then," Carlisle began, "Shall we migrate into the dining area?" Everyone agreed in unison.

"Here Bella, I'll take your jacket," Esme said. I shrugged it off and she put it away in a closet next to the front door.

"Bella," Carlisle said, "You can sit at the head of the table, since you'll be the one talking."

I suddenly got stage fright, given that I had talked in front of more people than the Cullens. But Alice came up and tucked her arm into my elbow and reassured me that it would all be okay. I sighed and then realized that Jasper might've had something to do with my calmness. I sat at the head with Alice on one side and Carlisle on the other. Esme sat right next to him and Emmett right beside her. Jasper sat next to Alice and Rosalie across from Emmett.

"Start whenever you feel ready," Carlisle said calmly.

Alice held my hand and gently squeezed it. I looked at her and she smiled, encouraging me. But behind it I knew what she was saying, that she knew I was going to tell them.

So I sighed, "Where do you want me to start?"

"Start after we left," Emmett's voice boomed, a huge grin on his face. I cringed.

"Emmett," Esme's voice cracked like a whip. Rosalie reached over and smacked him on the arm.

"What?" he said innocently

"I'll start four months after," I said quickly before an argument could start.

"I believe that's a great place to start," Carlisle said, quickly agreeing with me.

"After you all…left," they cringed along with me, "I…I don't know any better or nicer way to put it than I became numb…lifeless. A zombie I guess you could say. And it continued like that…until one night when I was with Jessica Stanley. We had gone to see a movie and she was blabbing on about something. When across the street I could've sworn I saw the men that had cornered me the night Edward saved me. When out of nowhere I heard his voice plain as day in my head. And long story short I did everything in my power to hear his voice any chance that I got. But I wasn't fully awake yet. Not until I met Jacob Black."

"Who's Jacob Black?" Alice asked.  
"Is he by any chance related to Ephraim?" Carlisle asked suspiciously.

I nodded my head, "It's his grandfather."

"So he was a…" Carlisle trailed off.

"Yes," I said, "Jacob was a werewolf. It had skipped his dad and went straight to him."

"Oh, a werewolf how lovely yes," Alice muttered before she said loudly, "Do you have any idea how dangerous a werewolf is?"

"Yes, Alice, I do. Can I get back to my story?" I paused and raised my eyebrow at her. She didn't say anything, "Anyway, Jake and I…we did everything together; we rode motorcycles, went cliff diving, hiking. It was fun. I was somewhat alive again. Jacob gave me a purpose once more. He was healing me, the deep hole I had felt in my heart was still there but most of the time he made me forget about it. I felt happy. I ate. I slept…somewhat," I smiled at the memories, "We became inseparable, he and I. He was my very best friend, someone I gradually couldn't live without," I laughed tenderly, "The only time I ever thought I was losing him was when he finally transformed into a werewolf. I went weeks without him calling me. And I could feel myself fall back into my catatonic state. The first time I saw the wolves, was when Laurent tried to kill me."

"Wait, what?" Alice interrupted, "How come I never saw that?"

"I…I don't know," I pondered in that a little bit, "Maybe because you're not a werewolf?"

"Could be?" she muttered, getting lost in thought.

"Finally," I continued, "I confronted Jacob and he told me that I couldn't be around him anymore, that he wasn't good," I laughed without humor, "Now I know what he meant by that. But that same night, he came to my house – through my window – and apologized and attempted to tell me what he was. It didn't take me long to figure it out that he was a werewolf. And that Victoria was in town…after me," I heard them all growl menacingly, "I'll get back to her later. Don't worry.

"After that little scrap between Jake and me, we became just as we were before, given that he was 9.4 degrees warmer and he could change into a huge scary wolf. I was okay with it. Besides, he wasn't the first monster I had met.

"Senior year came and went; Jake came to my graduation ceremony. And afterwards he, Charlie, and I all went out to eat in celebration. Over the summer we grew closer, Charlie was happy, and he loved Jake like his own son. That summer past so fast," I became sad, "I find myself missing it to this day.

"When college rolled around I went to the closest University so I could be close to my dad and Jacob. I stayed at home. I knew that at some point the day would come when Jake would want me to be his. And even though a part of me wanted to believe that you all would come back, a bigger part told me to be Jake's. So I did. He became my rock when college got difficult. I would cry his shoulder when one of my professors made me mad or embarrassed me. All too soon my four years were over. I was now a certified Biology teacher. I immediately accepted a job on the Quileute reservation, knowing that I couldn't face that dreaded Biology room at Forks High.

"Jake proposed just three months after college and accepting the job. Yet again it didn't surprise me, I said yes. The ceremony took place on the beach and the reception was held at Emily's house – Sam's wife," I explained.

"Is Sam a wolf, too?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, along with Jared, Paul, Embry, Quil, Seth, and Leah. After Leah, I don't know if there's any more," I shrugged my shoulders.

"Hmmm," he pondered on that.

"After we were married, we bought a little two bedroom cabin on the reservation. The thought of children was always there in the back of our minds. But we had decided that until Victoria was killed we would hold off on it. I wanted my children safe at all costs. So our lives continued like that childless, and Jake leaving every other night to patrol. I became okay with it, okay with the feeling of routine.

"Ten years passed and even though my love fore Jake had grown some, I knew one day that it wouldn't be enough anymore, that he'd want more from me. And as the days grew shorter I became numb again, as he became distant. I was losing my werewolf. So when I finally came home from work one night, I wasn't surprised to see his bags packed. He told me he was leaving. That he was tired of me still being so hung up on Edward…I said nothing, not because I _had_ nothing to say but because there _was _nothing _to_ say. He wanted all of my heart but I couldn't give it to him.

"The very last time I ever felt any emotion was after he had walked out the door. I let a few tears slip and fall to the floor like glass. I only cried because I had grown so used to not being alone that the mere thought of being without anyone was scary. I remember looking out the window watching as he loaded his things into his Rabbit. And as he opened the door I saw him look back at the house, waiting for me to come out to tell him to not go. To tell him that I truly loved him and that all my heart was his. But we both knew it wouldn't happen. So he left. Where he went I don't know. But he never came back."

"Oh, Bella," Alice and Esme whispered in unison.

"It's okay," I choked out, "I know he's happy. I can feel it," I put my hand over my non-beating heart, "In here. He's completely happy."

"So after Jacob left," Emmett eagerly encouraged.

"I will never forget that night…because it was the same night that I was turned. Victoria had somehow listened in on our conversation. My last memory was me walking through the kitchen to get to the bedroom. She burst through the door, and said 'Now you'll know how it feels' and bit me. She left me in pain. It lasted for three days, and after wards I was completely aware of what I was. The fire in my throat gave it away. I knew that if I wanted to live I'd get off the reservation as fast I could. But first I had to fake my own death, knowing that I'd never be able to return home while my dad was here. I killed a mountain lion in the woods and grabbed one of my shirts and smeared it in the animal's blood. Then I took the lion's paw and made bloody paw prints everywhere, to make it seem as if I had gotten killed by the animal…and so Jacob wouldn't immediately be blamed.

"Once I was done I ran as far as I could away from Forks. I got as far as southern Africa and stayed. I lived there for seventy years, moving around when people got suspicious. It's also where I met Nori Lane, a close friend and a fellow vampire-gone-vegetarian. I actually forced her into it," I laughed, "Anyway, she and I traveled south Africa, helping where we were needed…mostly impoverished villages. And while she dedicated herself to feeding the hungry. I dedicated myself to medicine, trying to figure out a way to cure AIDS **(A/N: keep in mind that this IS set quite a bit in the future…so…yeah)**."

"Wait," Carlisle stopped me, "Are you saying that Emma Ross wasn't the one to cure it? She stole your work?"

"No," I laughed, "I _was_ Emma Ross. I realized that I couldn't go everywhere as 'Bella Swan' so I changed it around a few times, going by 'Emma Ross', 'Liz Moore', and 'Roslyn Hawthorne' the last one was my favorite. And Nori did the same thing going by 'Kristen Scott', 'Cassie Moore' – with that one we were sisters – and 'Kayla Munro'.

"So you changed your identity so it wouldn't raise suspicion," Rosalie said.

"Exactly," I nodded my head.

"Are you sure you were Emma Ross?" Carlisle said, doubtfully.

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I pulled out the old magazine cover. It had a picture of me with shoulder length blonde hair and a one-year-old on my hip.

"Can you see the resemblance?" I asked. I held the picture up to my face.

Carlisle leaned in for two seconds before pulling back and saying, "My word. It is you. The nose, cheekbones, and lips are the same." The rest of them murmured in shock.

"Who's the baby girl?" Jasper asked.

"That's Ari," I said adoringly, "Her mother had died from AIDS and her grandmother was slowly dying. Ari had it too. She's what forced me to work towards finding a cure. She was also the only one to know who and what I really was," I could feel my eyes itch with no tears as I bit back a sob, "Two days," I stared down at the picture as my frame shook with anger, "Two days before my cure would be approved, she passed," I let a sob slip out, "She had fallen asleep that night and never woke up," I put my fingers over my mouth trying not to cry. Alice's arms wound around me and I cried into her shoulder.

"I suppose that's all really," Carlisle stated. All of them were solemn.

"There's a little bit more," I gather myself together and continued, "After Ari passed Nori and I moved two countries over. After seventy-six years or so, I had grown tired of southern Africa. And I slowly let my three alter egos die. Emma of old age…and Liz too, Roslyn died of a hyena attack. And gradually I became homesick. I finally told Nori I wanted to go back home. She willingly came with me. When we came I lived in my old house and offered Nori the spare room but she declined, getting an apartment in Port Angeles. I took up the open Biology teacher position at Forks and have been teaching there for six years," I sighed, happy that I was finally done with my story.

"Bella," Esme said and got up to hug me, "I am more wretched than I could tell you."

"It's alright, mom," I gasped, "I-I-I mean Esme. Sorry," embarrassed at my mistake.

"It's fine, sweetie," she laughed. I stood up and turned around as they all hugged me for a second time. When I turned to give Alice a hug, I saw the white baby grand piano.

"You guys still have that?" I asked shocked. They all turned to see what I was looking at.

"Ugh," Emmett groaned, "Edward wouldn't let us get rid of it, ever since –"

"Emmett, shut up!" Rosalie hissed at him.

I didn't bother guessing what he was going to say.

"Do you play?" Esme laughed and I laughed along with her, remembering the first time she'd asked me that.

"As a matter of fact, Esme, I do," I laughed, "I took lessons in college."

I walked over to it and sat down feeling the smooth white keys under my fingers. My fingers danced, begging me to play something. I started with the simple melody, "I wrote this a long time ago," I said softly. The melody kept coming softly and soon my voice accompanied it…

"_I'm not quite sure how to breathe without you here  
I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to say goodbye to all we were  
Be with me  
Stay with me  
Just for now  
Let the time decide  
When I won't need you_

My hand searches for your hand  
In a dark room  
I can't find you  
Help me  
Are you looking for me?

Can I feel anymore?  
Lie to me, I'm fading  
I can't drop you  
Tell me, I don't need you

My hand searches for your hand  
In a dark room  
I can't find you  
Help me  
Are you looking for me?

Etch this into my brain for me  
Tell me, how it's supposed to be  
Where everything will go  
And how I'll be without you by my side

My hand searches for your hand  
In a dark room  
I can't find you  
Help me  
Are you looking for me?

My hand searches for your hand  
In a dark room  
I can't find you  
Help me  
Are you looking for me?

_La deee ee hooo_

_La deee ee hooo hooo"_

My voice faded and my hands dropped to my lap. They clapped for me and I smiled.

"That was beautiful, Bella," his voice came from the stairs where he sat in the middle of them.

I froze, the hole festering in my chest, "How…how long were you there?"

"Since you started with Jacob Black," he muttered. His hair looked messier than ever.

"I…I," I searched for something to say. I looked at Alice who stared at me. She looked surprised…too surprised. I stood up immediately and pointed my finger at her, my voice quivering, "You…You knew he would be here. Didn't you?" Suddenly none of them were in the room except for Alice and Edward.

"Bella, I had to," she tried to explain.

"You…you lied to me, Alice," I said sadly, "Out of all the people I know you would be the last that I'd ever think would do such a thing."

"Bella, he needs to know as much as we do," she begged.

"So you did it through lying," I looked at Edward, "Obviously, you all haven't changed. Still lying to the stupid human, I see? Well, I've got news for you...," I took a big breath and yelled, "I'M NOT A DAMN HUMAN ANYMORE! I'm exactly like you, no weaker no stronger. Stop treating me like I'm some delicate flower. Do you understand?"

"Bella, I'm…we're sorry, truly we are," Alice said with sincerely regretful eyes.

I immediately felt bad, "Alice I…I need to go. It's almost twelve. I should head home,"

"Alright," she said. I gave her a quick hug. I stared at Edward for a long time, giving him what looked like and indifferent stare and got my coat, "Love you, Bella."

"Love you too, Alice," I called over my shoulder as I shuffled out of the house.

I walked quickly to my car.

"Bella, wait," he said behind me. My hand stopped at my door handle.

"What Edward?" I turned around, closing my eyes so I couldn't get lost in his.

"We need to talk," he said. I could feel him so close to me, it became hard to concentrate.

"It's a bit late for that," I said through gritted teeth.

"Please, can you listen, for just a few minutes," he begged me. I opened my eyes – bad move. I became like putty.

I sighed, contemplating back and forth in my head, "Alright, continue."

**(bahahaha left you hanging! Again! Don't worry! I'll update real soon! Oh, by the way just for all of you fellow Team Edward fans – I'm Team Edward too don't worry – I should warn you ahead of time that there WILL be a tiny bit of Jacob/Bella in the next chapter or so, nothing serious though. If you make it through without smashing your computer screen, you're a real trooper! Just remember that! ~ 3wordsnevertold)**


	4. AN: PLEASE READ, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT

**A/N: It has come to my attention that due to my forgetful brain, I completely left out Victoria. In that case here is the part that I accidentally overlooked. After this I shall continue on with the story. Bella comes face to face with Victoria while she's in southern Africa. Here it is… **

**~3wordsnevertold**

_Where exactly it took place…_

_After Ari passed, Nori and I moved two countries over…_

"I became numb, enveloping myself in my research. Nori stayed ever by my side. I was lifeless, done loving any living thing ever again. We moved around, and I avoided human relationships. Soon though, I was tired of being around people in general. So Nori and I retreated into the jungle becoming nomads for the last ten years spent in Africa.

"The thought of finding Victoria was ever constant in the back of my mind. I thought about it when I wasn't busy distracting myself. I didn't know what I'd do were I to see her again. The way it happened was not what I expected…"

I heard them all gasp and then hiss quietly. I smiled a little at their reaction.

"It was a normal hunting day for me. I had gone alone that day. I was trailing a herd of gazelle when the scent enveloped me. I followed it, recognizing it just barely," I gritted my teeth at what came next, "I found her in a clearing, having just killed someone. A little girl. Of all the things to eat and she chooses _that_. She stood up slowly staring me in the eye, pushing the dead body aside. 'I see you finally found me' she said in a baby sounding voice, 'Took you long enough'. I didn't say anything to her. I didn't have to; my intentions were clear by my stance. I stayed low to the ground, ever ready for her to attack. She circled around me and laughed before crouching low to the ground and launching herself at me.

"She tried to get her hands around my neck, but I wouldn't have it. I threw her into a nearby boulder, cracking it in two. She bit me once on the arm and I jerked my hand back, looking down at the cut. She tried to escape through the woods but I went after her. I caught up with her easily. She turned around and hit me smack dab in the face, sending me thirty feet back into a tree. She walked up to me and finally got her hands around my neck. I remember the pulling and the pain as my neck slowly cracked like rock. Then Nori showed up and jumped on her back, holding her arms back as I ran forward and took hold of Victoria's head. I remember the last thing she did. She looked back at Nori astonishment written all over her face and said in a shocked voice, 'Nori?' before her head gave way. Thankfully Nori had a lighter on her and Victoria's head and body became enveloped in flames.

"The only question I had for Nori is how Victoria knew her name. She said she wasn't exactly sure, that maybe she had been spying on us. I let it go…I don't know how Nori found me but she did, and she saved me from Victoria. And for that, I am eternally grateful to her."

"I can't believe it," Alice said, putting a hand to her mouth.

"You _destroyed_ Victoria?" Emmett asked in disbelief.

"Sure did," I sighed.

"Well, damn, what am I supposed to do now," he pouted.

They all laughed.

I continued, _"After that, I had grown tired of southern Africa. And I slowly let my three alter egos die…"_

**(There you go! Hope that answers any questions! By the way, and i hate to tell you all this but, unfortunately i have internet service through Verizon and it has a limited ammount and mine's about to be out. so it will be a few weeks until i can update i hope this doesnt discourage you. i'm hoping to have at least two or three chapters done. if you stay, you will be greatly rewarded for your patience. thank you very much! **** ~3wordsnevertold)**


	5. Chapter 4 Wounds

**A/N: Here's chapter 4! Enjoy! **

**~3wordsnevertold**

_Previously…_

"_Please, can you listen, for just a few minutes," he begged me. I opened my eyes – bad move. I became like putty. _

_I sighed, contemplating back and forth in my head, "Alright, continue."_

**Chapter 4 –Wounds**

"Bella, I…,"for the first time, Edward was speechless. I watched him as he searched for the right words to say; the words that would make everything alright. He shoved his hands in his pockets uneasily, "How…how have you been? You look great, you know," he said as the edge of his index finger nervously rubbed against the side of my cheek. For the first time in a long time, he made it easy to believe that he still wanted me. I closed my eyes, leaning into his hand. But my memory flashed of the forest and his eyes…how he said he didn't want me anymore.

I jerked my head away, staring at him. He almost looked hurt, "I'm fine. I've been fine."

"That's good," he smiled gently, "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," I said tersely.

"The gold eyes suit you," he laughed and then sighed before saying, "Bella…" The tone of his voice gave away what he was about to do. And I wasn't sure if I was ready to go back down memory lane with him and relive every scar.

"Edward," I closed my eyes, his name tingling my mouth as I said it, "Don't…don't do this. Don't make me hurt…again."

"I just wanted to tell you that -."

"That what?" I interrupted him, "That you're sorry? That you're sorry for leaving me lost, desperate, and just purely ugly? That you're sorry for what's become of me? That I'm just like you now?" I chuckled without humor, "It's a bit late for apologies."

"Please," he begged, "Just let me make it up to you. Let me show you that I still lo-."

"If you even _dare_ to say that _word_," my voice shook, "I'll kill you. You will not do that to me again."

"Bella, please…dammit will you listen to me?" he was aggravated now.

I paused for a moment, "No," I said as easily as he had in the forest. I turned my back on him and yanked my car door open, hearing the hinges protest. I started the car and floored it, pulling out of there before he could stop me.

I got home in ten minutes. The clock on the radio said it was twelve thirty. I stalked in to the house and locked the door behind me, knowing that it wouldn't keep him out if he decided to follow me. I plopped on to the couch and sat there in the darkness – though it wasn't really dark to me. I let the sobs wrack my body, some being so bad minutes would pass by before I could breathe in.

Every scar inside of me seemed to re-open at that very moment, bleeding and throbbing. I clutched my chest with my hand, trying to heal them together. I cried at my reflection in the sliding glass door. I looked miserable, broken more than words could say.

Suddenly, I heard something outside, the padding of soft paws on grass. They were right outside my house, sniffing something. I didn't become alarmed until the thing started to growl. I instinctively shot up off of the couch and slid the door quietly, trying not to make a sound. I could hear it slowly pad around to the side of the house, still sniffing. Whatever it was, it smelt foul – not something that I could turn into a meal.

I stopped, there were two separate sets of paws walking. I could hear them stay close together. Something tugged at my memory but it was foggy and distant. I couldn't remember it exactly. I moved forward, stepping on the places that made the least noise. But I miscalculated by an inch and I stepping right on a twig, making it snap audibly. They stopped sniffing, and walked back towards my direction. Their growls were becoming deeper and one of them snarled.

My instincts took over in self defense, and I immediately felt my body go rigid. If there was going to be a fight, I was ready. The animals began walking faster almost round the side of the house. I growled, warning them. They growled back.

It all came in a rush. I jumped out from the corner and they stood ten feet away from me, I crouched low on the ground ready to spring. I realized with horror that they were huge wolves…werewolves. But who exactly? One was a reddish color with brown eyes and the other was pure white with hazel eyes.

Wait…reddish brown…I knew that color! My body went loose and I stood up slowly, showing the wolf that I meant no harm, but he kept his stance.

I took a breath and prayed that what I was about to say would be true and false at the same time, "Jacob?" my voice came out in a whimper.

His muzzle froze over his exposed teeth, and he stopped growling. I watched as his eyes squinted at me, trying to make sense of who it was.

"Jake," I said again stepping towards him. But the white wolf blocked my way, stepping in front of him. Things went quiet as they had a private conversation in their head. The white one hesitated before heading to the forest. It stopped and looked back at him, worry in her eyes before he made a short grunt in her direction. She turned around and jumped through the canopy of trees. He walked past me, and suddenly I felt deep, deep disappointment. Maybe it wasn't him, or maybe he didn't want to talk to me.

I stared at him as he walked away, feeling the pain come again. But he turned around and looked at me and with his eyes told me to wait right there.

He leaped through the same trees that the white one had. It only took a few minutes before I heard him stepping out through again.

I held my breath, not having seen him in eighty years. He looked the same as he had when he was thirty. He walked smoothly over to me, And stopped about three feet away, "Bella," he sighed my name, relief and recognition in his voice.

It took all I had not to run into his arms, "Jake," I choked out his voice, having not realized that I was crying again. He stood there in a black long sleeved shirt that hugged to him tightly, loose jeans, and sneakers. His face told me that he was holding back something. All too soon he was walking towards me and I walked towards him. He caught me in his arms and I hugged him to me, praying that he'd stay there forever. I could feel the soft vibrations coming from his arms and chest. He was having to struggle to not kill me. I held him tighter. _Always the protector_, I laughed in my head.

"Oh, Bells," his husky voice whispered, "Don't cry."

"I…I can't help it," I sobbed, "I've missed you so much." I wrapped my fingers into his now shoulder length, silky hair. I breathed in, fighting against the revulsion that his scent did to me now.

"How did this happen?" he asked, tense, into my hair.

"Victoria," I said, "She came the night that you…" I trailed off, not wanting to bring it up.

He paused for a moment, letting this sink in before saying, "I'm sorry," his voice sounded like he had gotten choked up, too. He finally let me go and held me at arms length. He looked at me with repulsion. I didn't take it personal though, knowing that it wasn't _me_ he was sickened with but _what I was_ of what had become of me

"God," his frame started shaking, "If only I'd stayed just a little longer."

"Shhh," I put my fingers over his mouth, "It wasn't your fault. It was no one's."

"Oh yes it was," he argued, "It's that damn leech's fault. If he wouldn't have left."

"It's not his either," I said defending him, "It's nobody's."

He grit his teeth together, but said no more. His face softened as he looked into my eyes. It always felt this way with Jake; my love for him was like molten lava, moving and churning slowly, heating me up on molecule at a time. But there was something different about this time…something about him felt off. The feelings that we shared were still there, but not as intense; like we were back to how things used to be before he was a werewolf. Easy going, like breathing.

"How've you been, Jake?" I asked softly.

"Good," he laughed, "Been traveling the world: Canada, South America, Alaska, even Australia."

"Wow!"

"And you?"  
"I mostly spent my time in Southern Africa," I stated.

"Oh yeah, the Emma Ross thing," he laughed.

"How," my eye brows pulled together, "How did you know about that?"

"Saw it on the news and something inside of me said it was you," he explained, "Why you were in disguise I'm not sure of."

"Obvious reasons," I mumbled.

"I see that now," he voice tense.

I heard the feet of someone in the woods, adjusting their position, "Who is that in there?" I asked Jake.

"Oh," he looked back into the forest, "That's Hailey."

"Hailey," I said skeptically.  
"She…," he took a deep breath, hesitating, "She's my fiancée."

"Oh," the air in my lungs rushing out.

"I imprinted in her a few years back," he said still staring into the forest.

"That's nice, Jake," there was something in my throat and I tried to clear it.

He looked back at me, searching my eyes, "I'm sorry."

"No, please. Don't be. I mean, you couldn't help it."

"I know, but I hate hurting you. I seem to be doing it a lot lately," he looked at me with sad eyes.

"Jake," I touched his cheek and he leaned into it, "It's okay."

"Are you?" he stared at me.

I blinked, "Am I what?"

"Okay, I mean."

I paused, pursing my lips, "Yes, I am."

"Liar," he laughed.

"I'm not lying," I said defensively.

"Are too."

"I'm…I'm okay," I whispered the last part.

"Bells," he said, grabbing my face in his hands and making me look at him, "What's wrong?"

"They're…," I took a deep breath, "They're back."

"Who?"

I raised my eyebrow at him, "Who do you think?"

"Oh," was all he said. Suddenly he dropped his hands from my face and began pacing back and forth, "Stupid filthy leech, thinking he can just come back and all will be okay."

"Jacob," I warned him, "Don't start."

"What is he thinking? That you'll just freely forgive him. I mean, seriously, you've been through hell these past years. And he thinks you're just gonna take him back like that? He is badly messed up," he ranted, "It's not like you're going to take him back, is it?"

I didn't say anything.

"Bells?"

"I don't know, Jacob!" I cried, "I just…I don't know what to do anymore."

"You still have feelings for him," it wasn't a question.

I nodded my head, "I hate it. I wish I could hate him…There's a part of me that wishes that he hadn't come in between us!" I gasped when I said that, "I'm sorry."

"So I was him then wasn't it? He was the reason you couldn't love me completely," he said without emotion.

"It is," I sobbed, "I wanted to love you so much, but I couldn't. I couldn't find it in me to give you my all. Every time I tried, he was there in the back of my mind, watching me."

"And all this time I thought it was me," he muttered.

"I…what?" I looked at him, puzzled.

"I thought I was the reason, that there was something wrong with me."

"No, Jake," I grabbed his shoulders, "It was never you. You were perfect, you were good to me. But I wasn't yours. I could never be."

"Bella," I could see the pain in his eyes, despite the fact that he had someone else. I had damaged him, "I still love you, you know."

"I know that," I sighed sadly, "It'll never change, never go away. Take that from someone who's lived for a long time."

Jacob suddenly turned to look behind him. He turned back to me, "I have to go, Hailey's waiting."

"Are you staying here?" I asked hopeful.

"No, this was just a stop. I wanted to see old friends…and to see you," he looked embarrassed.

"I would've been dead," I muttered, "If this hadn't happened to me."

"I think I always knew that you'd still be alive," he laughed softly.

"Goodbye, Ja-," but he had gathered me in a hug before I could finish. He held me to his fiery body, his heat warming me. I pulled back and looked at him, and he did something I didn't expect.

When I looked up one last time to see his face before he left, he kissed me softly, his lips moving on mine in a rhythm that was somewhat familiar to me. It was quick, but I felt so much. For only a moment, I wanted things to be the way they were before. I wanted to go back on the reservation and live in the tiny cabin, always feeling protected. I wanted to go back to spending my nights sleeping in his warm arms. I wanted to go back to safety, to where I could count on Jake never hurting me no matter what, never leaving me no matter what I did. But I couldn't; I couldn't change what had happened. He pulled away and whispered, "Love you, Bells. Always," before letting go of me and making his way towards the woods. I saw Hailey come out and meet him halfway. She grabbed his hand and they leapt into the woods, leaving me…once again. But this time he didn't hate me.

I watched happily as my werewolf said goodbye, knowing that _this_ would probably be the very last time I saw him, "Goodbye Jacob. I love you forever," I smiled.

**(Sorry that this one is kinda short. I hope you all don't hate me for this, but…I just felt like this HAD to happen regardless of the team that I'm on. Oh! Next chapter is Edward's POV! ~3wordsnevertold)**


	6. Chapter 5 Wounds EPOV

**A/N: Chapter 5! I can't really do previously b/c this is ch. 4 from Edward's POV! Enjoy! **

**P.S: I'm sooooo sooooo soooo sorry that it took me so long; my internet was out :(**

**Chapter 5 – Wounds (EPOV)**

"Bella, please…dammit will you listen to me?" she was pissing me off now.

She paused for a moment, "No," she said without emotion. She turned her back on me, yanked her door open, and sped off.

"Ahhhhhh," I yelled once her lights were gone and the engine started fading away. I stomped back towards the house punching a tree before I yanked the door open.

"So," Alice skipped up to me, "Can we stay?" she obviously hadn't heard my conversation with Bella.

I got even more annoyed, "Sure, Alice," I said loudly, "Do whatever the hell you want, God knows you wouldn't listen to me even if I told you no!"

"Edward," Esme scolded me. I didn't look at her.

The room got quiet and everyone jumped when Emmett suddenly boomed with his loud voice, "So did you get her back, Don Juan?" he laughed

To this day I'm not exactly sure what it was that set me off. But before I could think, my fist made contact with the bottom of his jaw and he flew backwards and slammed into the wall before sliding down. Rosalie screamed and charged at me throwing me to the ground and clawing at my face and trying to wrap her thin, long fingers around my neck. Our growls and snarls mixed in with one another as we pulled and yanked and hit each other. I felt hard hands come down on my shoulders and was suddenly lifted up off the floor. My arms were pulled behind my back. My instincts and anger were mixed in with each other so intensely, that I didn't even realized what I'd done until my teeth made contact with hard flesh, the taste telling me immediately that it was a vampire. I froze, realizing that I had just bit a family member. I looked around; Alice and Esme were holding Rosalie back while Jasper and Carlisle held me back. I looked down at the place that I had bit, noticing with horror that it was Jasper.

I looked up at his face, knowing that he was in pain. I shrugged myself easily out of his and Carlisle's grip. Without saying a single word, I dashed out of the house, before they could see the mortification on my face. The forest blurred together; green with green, brown with brown. I ran as fast as I could get my body to and before I knew it I stood in a place painfully familiar to me.

Violets and yellows and all sorts of colors flooded the ground, the moon bleaching the colors of the flowers to look white. I walked slowly to the middle of the meadow and sank down onto my knees, feeling the wetness of the grass soak through my pants. My face crumpled and I sobbed into my hands. I was angry with Emmett, I was angry with Bella…but most of all I was angry with myself. How could I have let this happen to my Bella? This was not the human life that I had intended for her to live…no this was _far_ from human. If only I had stayed, maybe things would be different. If only I wouldn't have feared that the inevitable would happen, maybe I could've convinced her to stay human. But my heart tore in two when I thought that she'd be long dead by now were it not for _Victoria_. I tiny tiny part of me thanked her for her monstrosity, for her masochistic personality.

But dammit if only Bella believed me. Why'd she have to be so stubborn? My fingers dug into the dirt and yanked up the grass and flowers around me. I stared straight ahead and had a flash back.

I could see us in the meadow so many years ago. During that fateful day when I could've so easily taken her delicate life. I saw myself lying in the grass and her with her knees pulled to her chest. I watched her touch me and remembered the melody that I sung to myself…her lullaby. I smiled as I stared at us, watching how the soft breeze played with tendrils of her mahogany hair. I watched the light in her eyes, so bright and vivid and all for me. She had given her heart to me and I had stomped all over it and gave it back to her, expecting her to make it beat again. I heard her voice in my head whisper, _You should've killed me when you had the chance,_ **(A/N: all of you that are familiar with/listen to A Day to Remember should know where I got this! :D)**

I shivered away from the memory and flitted out of the meadow, the memories becoming too painful to bear. I ran north following the coast of Washington until I got to Alaska and headed for the familiar cabin that I knew all too well. I could hear Bella laugh in my mind and I ran faster.

I knocked on the door a little too hastily and the person who I had wanted to answer it did. Her strawberry blond curls were pulled back into a ponytail. Tanya stood in front of me but all I saw was Bella; her face, her smile, her hair…everything. And before she could speak and ruin my hallucination, I attacked her, pinning her up on the inside wall and kissed her greedily. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back.

My mind rejected it; telling me that this was _not_ Bella. I growled internally at the voice, telling it to shut up, that I didn't care…that this was _my_ mirage whether it liked it or not. I carried her to her bedroom where she ripped of my shirt, the buttons clattering to the floor. She kissed me hard. And when she pulled back, all I saw was Bella in front of me. Bella looking at me with a need so fierce and human, that it almost choked me. Bella gripping my hips as I straddled her. I bent down and kissed her softly as she lifted her shirt over her head, exposing a black bra.

I paused pulling back to look at her one last time before I continued. Suddenly she spoke, "Edward…I need you," but I frowned. That wasn't my Bella's voice…that was Tanya's. And just like that the illusion was over. Bella's face disappeared and was replaced by Tanya's…replaced by someone whom I could never truly love. I jumped off of her as fast as I could, the horror of what I was about to do sinking in. My chest rose and fell heavily, taking in the air around me. Suddenly Tanya was right there staring up at me.

"What's wrong?" she whispered.

"We can't," I breathed heavily, "I mean, I can't."

"Edward…," she begged me with her eyes.

"I'm so sorry for leading you on," I whispered before I grabbed my shirt off the floor and ran out into the cold Alaskan air.

I couldn't go home and face my family and their sad faces but I couldn't stay here and face Tanya's disappointed one. I sighed turning east and heading towards Canada, praying that my mind would spontaneously forget Bella and every beautiful thing about her. I ran faster into the forest as dawn rose over the mountains…

**(Oh I know such a short chapter I'm sorry, but if I went any further with the Tanya/Edward thing then certain things would happen…things that he would regret ever doing and I couldn't do that to him. plus you all wouldn't be too happy! I gotta please my readers first! :D )**


	7. Chapter 6 Fickle

**_(A/N: I know it's been a VERY long time since I've updated. :( Work has gotten in the way extremely. But here ya go. Exactly where I left off. Oh, and sorry. Got the chapters all messed up)_**

_Previously..._

_I watched happily as my werewolf said goodbye, knowing that this would probably be the very last time I saw him, "Goodbye Jacob. I love you forever," I smiled..._

For three days Edward did not show up to class. And I avoided the rest of the Cullens because I was still ashamed of my outburst from two nights ago. Things were especially awkward between Alice and I. She seemed upset with herself more than me. Which made my guilt worse. By the third day, I could feel myself become worried for him - though I tried to squash those feelings.

At the end of the day while I was grading papers, there was a hesitant, shy knock on my door.

"Come in, Alice," I said, knowing exactly who it was.

She poked her spiky head around my door and asked, "Bella, can we talk?"

"I suppose," I sighed.

She glided through the door and grabbed a chair and set it right in front of my desk. She waited a minute or two before she sighed and said, "I..wanted to apologize for my lack of better judgment from the night before. It was a stupid mistake. But, in my defense, he had a right to know just as the rest of us. You love him just as much as you love me, if not more."  
"Alice I-"

"You know it's true, Bella," she interrupted me as I stared down at my hands that were balled into fists, "And you have to know that he loves you," she said a moment later.

My voice became sarcastic, "Really? Because the way he just hasn't been here in three days shows that he hasn't changed a bit."

"He's…frustrated right now," she averted my eyes, "He's actually been that way for _years_ now. His mood swings are worse than ever. He's in rough shape. But we came back and suddenly it was like the old him was back; that that other person hadn't even existed. He was awake and aware of everything around him. Whereas before, well he probably could've gotten hit by a bus and he wouldn't even had known it."

"I hadn't realized it was that bad," I muttered, "The guilt must've been overwhelming. When Charlie died, god, I was surprised hell didn't swallow me up."

"It was," Alice said, "Wait…guilt? What guilt?"

"Of knowing the danger I could've been in without him here to protect me. And then to have his nightmares come true, that I actually was hanging around things as dangerous as him. That Victoria_had_ gotten me. The guilt must be crushing for him. Not a day goes by where I don't think of Charlie. I could've found a cure for his heart condition. Or a way to prolong his life. One that didn't involve immortality," I said staring into space.

"Well I'm sure he experienced that, Bella, but there was more to it. He didn't want to l-"

There was a sudden knock on my door. The rhythm of the heartbeat told me exactly who it was, "Come in, Ryan," I sighed. He walked through the door. The blond hair and baby blue eyes would make any other girl swoon. But he wasn't my type. Given that I'd only had two boyfriends and they both were supernatural creatures. Maybe I needed to change my preferences. I could date a faerie. Maybe a warlock. But I read somewhere that most of them are gay **(A/N: You'll get this if you've read Mortal Instruments ;) ) **

"Alice, Ryan. Ryan, Alice," I said quickly, hoping he'd get the point that I didn't want to be bothered.

"Lovely to meet you," Alice mumbled.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Alice," he said in his smooth voice. He held out his hand and she unwillingly offered hers to him. He kissed the top of it, watching me the whole time. I realized he was doing it on purpose, to make me jealous. I turned my angry gaze away, knowing he'd misread it.

"So Bella," I turned my gaze back to him as he absently dropped Alice's hand, "Are you staying late to help out with the Winter Solstice dance decorations? There will be…drinks offered for the teachers that help out," his eyes were ablaze with desire.

"I'm sorry Ryan, but Alice and I are going shopping tonight. Maybe another time?" I batted my eyelashes. I could hear his heart pick up as I laughed inside.

"Another time then," he smiled and walked out.

"Shopping, huh?" Alice turned to me mischievously.

"Uh oh," I said, kicking myself.

Three hours worth of shopping later, Alice had at least two months' worth of outfits for me.

"Alice," I said, "Do you ever do any shopping for yourself?"

She giggled as she set the bags down on the kitchen table, "Bella, when you've been alive for as long as I have, you get bored shopping for yourself."

"True," I mumbled, "I just…feel bad. You spending all this money on me. I mean, I'm pretty sure there's a pair of jeans in there over five hundred dollars."

"Nonsense," she smiled at me as her eyes became soft, "Trust me when I say that all of us are more than happy to share. After a while it means nothing to us. Besides Edward's the one who said we should," she gasped. I cringed, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that," She smiled crookedly. For a brief moment it was like seeing _his_ smile.

Alice changed the subject immediately – which I was grateful for, "So what's this Winter Solstice dance I heard of," anything but that.

I slouched down in a chair, "Alice," I moaned, "I am _only_ chaperoning. It's for the students. Not me."

"Well, _you_ might not be, but _we_ are," she giggled mischievously.

"Oh, no. You are not buying me a dress and turning me into your personal Barbie. Not this time Mary Alice Cullen," I shook my finger at her.

"What if I already got it for you?" she grinned and pulled out a white bag.

"When…," I couldn't finish.

"When you were in the bookstore," she smiled triumphantly, "_And_ it's your favorite color?"

"Topaz," I said, confused.

"Well, his favorite color," she muttered.

"Oh," I said softly, "Alice. Really? What? Now you're playing matchmaker? It won't work. He…he said so himself."

"When did he say that?" she asked, clueless.

"When do you think," I grumbled.

"Oh. Well," she started smiling again, "This color looks great on you. Why don't I say _I _want you to wear this color, because as your personal stylist, I know what looks good on you."

"I never agreed to go!" I laughed. Alice raised her eyebrow at me, "Oh. Right, clairvoyance."

"So," she started, "I will pick you up tomorrow at six. And you and I will go to the dance."

"None of the others will be there?" I asked puzzled.

"They will be. Except for, well, you know," she looked down at the ground, "I told him it'd probably be best if he stayed away for a few days. He won't be back until midnight tomorrow," she smiled at me.

"You're a saint, Alice," I hugged her.

"Nope. Just Alice," she laughed.

I waved goodbye as she pulled out of my driveway and headed home. I sighed deeply as I plopped on the couch and picked up the phone. I dialed his number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?" he said smoothly.

"Ryan? It's Bella," I said, twisting my finger nervously around the phone's cord **(A/N: Did you see that coming? :D )** "I'm actually free tonight. Alice got sick and had to go home," I laughed.

"Give me an hour and I'll be over there," he laughed, "Bye, Bells."

"Bye," I hung up the phone. I sighed, knowing that I'd have to tell Alice about this soon. If she knew that I was dating Ryan, I know she'd be pretty upset. And prolonging this secret would just make it that much harder. _Who cares_, the other part of me thought, _what you do with your personal life is your own business. And not there's_!

I bit my lip as I headed up to my room to change into something more comfortable.

A moment or two later, as I was mindlessly flipping through channels, there was a light tap on my backdoor. I turned the TV off and opened the sliding glass door, only to see a tangle of bronze hair.

"Bella," he whispered as he stepping into the porch light.

"Edward," I hissed as I yanked him inside, "What the hell are you doing here? Alice said you wouldn't be back until late tomorrow!"

"I made a last-minute decision," he said as he twisted a tendril of my hair with his fingers, "I needed to see you."

"To…what? Ensure that I was still alive and safe? I don't need protection anymore. I'm as strong as you now," I said indignantly.

"We could test that theory," his voice became low and seductive. I could almost hear him purr.

"Edward, don't," I turned away from him and headed into the kitchen. He was right on my heels.

"What?" he said innocently.

"Don't waltz in here thinking I'll just swoon over you. Don't look at me with those molten eyes and think I'll melt," I said, "I…I don't want that anymore. I've…," I trailed off knowing what I would have to tell him.

"What, Bella?" he said softly, coming closer to my body which was leaning against the counter.

"I've…found someone," I said, my eyes pricking from the lack of tears welling up in my eyes.

"Oh," was all he said. I had to look away. I could feel the hurt radiating from his body.

"And…I want to make it work. I _need_ to make it work. And this time I think I can. He knows about me and you and Jake and what we all are."

"What?" his voice became ice. He grabbed the tops of my arms and shook me slightly, "Bella, do you know what kind of danger you've put yourself in? If the Volturi find out-"

"What, Edward?!" I was slightly yelling, "What?! So it was fine if _you_ put _yourself_ in that kind of danger but God forbid if I do?! What's the difference? I am fully capable of making my own decisions. You let yourself care about me when I was human, so I can care about someone when they're human?"

"That's all that you think it was," his voice had grown extremely dark and, though I was a vampire like him, he truly was scaring me, "That I just _cared_ about you. Bella, I lo-"

"I don't want to hear that!" I covered my ears, "It's not true, Edward Cullen. And you know it's not. You might have meant it the first few times that we were together but once you realized that I was just like any other stupid human, you grew tired and bored. You claimed you hated Romeo but you are exactly like him! Fickle! But now you walk back into my life and 'hey! I'm just like you!' Well now I'm interesting and exactly like you so now that makes me desirable! No! I will not have you hurt me again. You did it once I will never let you do it again. Understand?"

"Bella," he opened his arms, begging.

"I think it's best if you go home, Edward," I sighed as I opened the front door, "Please," I closed my eyes. And when I opened them, he was gone. I shut the door quietly and sank down to the floor. The dry sobs that racked my body were the worst I had ever felt. A few moments later there was another knock on my door. I opened it to see Ryan standing there.

"Hey, beautiful," he laughed gently as he handed me flowers. I set them in the kitchen quickly.

"So what do you want to do?" he asked, "Watch a movie?"

I wrapped my arms around his neck, "Can we just skip the formalities? Can you just shut up and kiss me?"

"Well," he laughed nervously, "If that's what you want..."

"It is," I said quickly and crushed my lips to his…

**(A/N: Don't worry! Bella and Ryan don't do anything. Just a lot of kissing. Like I said with Nori, you'll get to know Ryan a little bit better. But he and Bella will NOT end up together in the end. What kind of fanfic writer would I be if I let that happen? ~ 3wordsnevertold) **


	8. Chapter 7 The Winter Solstice Dance

**(A/N: Thanks for the reviews! And I will try to update as often as I can! Oh, dont forget that if you go to my profile the link to the characters' outfits is on there. If you need a visual aide! :) Plus I enjoy putting together outfits!:D Anyways, on with the story!)**

_Previously..._

_"Well," he laughed nervously, "If that's what you want..."_

_"It is," I said quickly and crushed my lips to his..._

It was the next day that I dreaded. I somehow _knew_ that he would be in school today. Last night, Ryan had asked what had brought on my affectionate side. I told him I wasn't sure. I lied. I knew exactly what it was. Well, more like I didn't have to be psychic to know that he would be here today.

He walked in lithely and took his seat. I was administering a test today to follow up all that we'd learned this past week. I cringed internally as I handed him his test paper. And it was there that I saw the hurt in his eyes. I wanted to rush to him. To throw my arms around him and tell him I was sorry for what I said last night; that I didn't mean any of it. I…I wanted to kiss him. So badly that my lips tingled.

But I fought with my brain telling myself that the hurt I saw was just the pain of rejection that everyone goes through and nothing more. But it was hard.

"You have the whole class period to do your test," I said, "If you do not finish, turn it into the red basket and I'll let you finish it up on Monday. Please take your time. Do not feel rushed," I paused and looked around the room before settling my eyes on his, "You may begin." The next forty-five minutes were torture. I knew that Edward would be the first to turn in his test. As he set it down on my desk to grade, he stared at me with those _eyes_! I couldn't look away. I got lost in them. In that moment all I wanted was him. Were it not for the other students I would've jumped across the desk. But I kept my cool as my mouth filled with venom from the deep desire I had in the pit of my stomach.

But as he looked at me, an abrupt coldness came in his eyes. He became shut off. Not even the Titanic could break him now. He turned and walked back to his seat, while my body felt like it was freefalling into a deep abyss that I would never come out of. Internally I felt like I was choking.

I tried my best to seem okay as the other students slowly turned in their tests. I smiled and attempted to grade them. I jumped when the bell rang and the students piled out of my glass. I stood up and choked out, "Have a wonderful Christmas Break!" before turning back to the dry erase board to ready it for my Biology I class. **(A/N: Forgot to mention she teaches Biology I & II! Sorry!)**

"Bella," his velvet voice wrapped around my name and my cold body; warming me.

"Don't do this," I closed my eyes as I turned towards him only to find that he was so close I could _smell_ him. His scent enveloped me. And I grew dizzy.

"Bella, look at me."

I could feel my eyes grow hard, "I'm not doing this with you right now," I moved to escape his closeness. But he grabbed my forearms and slammed me against the dry erase board.

"You can't keep playing this game with me," his voice grew dark, "I _know_ you feel something," he said as his face came closer to me; his lips closer to mine.

"Edward, I swear to God, if you do not let go of me, I'll rip your arms right off of you," I said so darkly, I scared even myself.

He set his jaw and let go of me. He turned and walked out of my room. And for some reason I couldn't help but think he might not ever come back.

As I got ready for the Winter Solstice Party that night, I felt a deep comfort that he would not be there tonight. Alice – out of her own free will – decided to come over to my house early so she could do my hair.

"There," she said, "Now your perfect."

She spun me around in my chair so I could see her finished work. I stuttered as I said, "Alice, I-I'm pretty."

"Oh please," she laughed, "You're stunning!"

"Ha ha ha," I rolled my eyes.

"Oh hush," she said, "Now, _I _will help you put on your dress because knowing your luck you'll ruin your hair. And I just can't bear the thought of _that_!"

We rode over to the building the school had rented out for the dance. This, thank God, was not the same building that I had had my prom at. **(A/N: In the book they actually had it at the gym. But I thought I'd go with the movie's version of it! ^_^)**

I mostly stood around and…well, chaperoned! That's what I was there for anyway. As I was closely eyeing a couple who were getting too cozy with each other, a pair of warm arms wrapped around me. I giggled slightly.

"Can I have this dance," Ryan asked softly in my ear.

"Hmmm," I whispered back, "I'll have to think about it…of course you can," I laughed.

He rolled his eyes at me as he led me to the floor. We danced to the slow song and as it ended I could feel myself become more and more comfortable with him…with us. But I had to know that my happiness would not last forever as a smooth, white finger tapped on Ryan's shoulder.

"Do you mind?" Edward asked smoothly.

"We're busy," I said.

Just as Ryan said, "Yeah that's fine."

I whipped my head towards Ryan, "You don't have to do this."

"It's fine, Bells," he laughed, "Besides, I needed to find Nori anyways."

"But," I stammered.

"Have fun! I'll be back!" he laughed as he passed my hands to Edward.

I growled menacingly.

"And just where have your manners went?" Edward asked pretending to be appalled.

"Shut the hell up," I said through gritted teeth.

He only sighed and pulled me close. I tried to fight when he shot me a warning glance that made me cower. So I sighed and gave up and leaned my head against his shoulder. And as we danced I could feel myself leaning closer into him. I felt every nerve in my body relax and come alive at the same time. When the song ended, he went to let go of me, but before I could stop myself I gripped his arms and kept him there.

I felt his chuckle vibrate my body in strange ways. He turned his face into my hair and whispered, "Can you come with me? Please?" he pulled back and looked at me with his eyes. And I watched as they melted and swirled. All I could do was nod at him. He smiled gloriously before leading me to a far back corner of the building where a set of stairs led up to what looked like a door. He opened it with his free hand - as the other was entwined with mine – and we were suddenly on a private balcony. He beckoned me to go first and shut the door after him.

The view was breathtaking! In the distance I could see a river and beyond that the sunset…Twilight. I recalled the last time we were alone like this. I was begging for immortality and he was fighting against it, saying that it was the twilight of my life.

I looked down at my hands with melancholy. How bad he must feel that my life did not go as he had wanted it to. It wasn't what I had planned either, being turned in this way. I'd always thought it'd be different. That it would be Edward doing it. That it would be perfect and I would have him forever…How different both of our expectations had turned out.

"Bella," his voice jumped me out of my reverie and I turned to look at him, leaning myself against the banister, "I…there are some things I need to tell you," he wrung his hands nervously.

Somehow I got this feeling that he knew that I was slowly falling for him again. And with dread I realized that he was going to set me straight. My stomach became knotted, and fear overcame me so bad that I couldn't say a word

He grabbed the tops of my shoulders and held me there. In his eyes I saw that he was begging me not to run…to listen. So I did.

"I feel utterly sick…sick to my core. If I had known that this was going to happen to you I would not have left. I…I would've stayed with you. To protect you," his voice shook with emotion.

"Edward," I placed my hands on his face, "you cannot keep doing this to yourself. You cannot keep blaming yourself for something that no one knew was going to happen. I don't want you to feel guilty. I would never hold what happened to me against you."

"That's what you think this is about?" he asked, shocked, "Of course I feel guilty but it's more than that, Bella. I…I didn't want to leave you."

"What?" I said breathlessly.

"I wanted to stay so badly. To be with you, Bella," he said, "I wanted to be the only person you ever loved. I didn't realize how badly I had hurt you. I only meant for you to move on, not to be heartbroken. I'm sorry for everything, Bella. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry that I lied to you."

"You…Lied to me?" I said in a small voice.

"I lied to you when I said that I didn't want you. I lied when I said that I didn't love you. Bella, I still love you to this day. You could run me over with a truck. Tell me you hated me. I'd still love you. Not a day went by that I didn't love you.

"And I see you today, the beautiful, strong, independent woman you've become. And if anything, I've fallen even more in love with you. Bella, I love you. I'm _in_ love with you, and I will _always love you_. To time indefinite, even forever."

"You…you _love_ me?" I became choked up.

"Bella, I am so sorry if I have hurt you beyond repair," he said misreading my tears, "If you want me to go. I will. I…I just needed you to know the truth."

He dropped his hands from my shoulders and went to turn away, "Don't leave," I begged as the crying became more pronounced, "I forgive you. For everything. I love you, Edward Cullen. And if you walk away this will be the last time you'll see me. You think I could survive if you leave again?"

He was suddenly right in front of my face again, "Do you meant it," he asked incredulously.

"Of course I do," I sniffled.

"Bella," he said roughly, and then his lips came crashing down on mine. I clung to him, holding on as if he were my life vest. I could fell the cavern in my chest heal up. A scar would be left, I knew, but it would be worth it to have him back. He wrapped his arms around my waist and picked me up as our mouths came into contact. He broke away, though I didn't need the oxygen now, and trailed kisses from my temple to my neck. He stopped there and murmured, "Mmmmm." And bit down softly.

I let in a sharp breath and dug my nails into his back as he carried me over to a far wall and pressed me up against that. He growled into my mouth as my nails went deeper and deeper into the skin of his back. I pushed more and more, enjoying the feelings his growl was doing to me.

Multiple times he murmured my name which made it extremely hard to concentrate. He finally pulled away and leaned his forehead against mine. We both were breathing heavily from the intensity.

He stared unblinkingly into my eyes and said, "I love you."

"I love you, too," I said breathlessly.

He gave me another quick peck before wrapping his arms around me, "Why don't we go to my house where it's more…private," his eyebrows shot up suggestively.

My stomach quivered with delight, "Of course."

He kissed me a third time and entwined our fingers together before leading me to the door. As he was opening it, Nori and Ryan came through.

"Bravo," Nori clapped her hands sardonically.

"That was a rather interesting show," Ryan's voice sounded…British?!

"Ryan…your accent," I stammered for words.

"Wasn't expecting it were you, darling," his mouth twisted into an evil smile.

"Dammit," Edward muttered under his breath, "I knew something was up."

"Edward?" I asked carefully, "What's going on?"

"I thought they were blocking their thoughts from me," he said, still talking to himself as he slid me behind him. I peeked around his arm. All was quiet as Edward read their thoughts, and then he gasped. Horror and anger written on his face.

"Edward?" I asked alarmed.

"Bella," he turned to me, "I need you to go downstairs and get the others."

"But-"

"No one is going anywhere," Nori blocked the door, "Though I'm pretty sure Eddie already knew that."

"Edward," I commanded, "What's going on?"

"They're here….to finish what Victoria started…"

**(A/N: A cliff-hanger, I know. But this chapter was getting long and I wanted to end it like that! Will update soon! ~3wordsnevertold)**


	9. Chapter 8 Traitor

**(A/N: I know, I know I'm a terrible author because I've gotten lazy again! But instead of explaining it I'm just gonna post a really, really good chapter!)**

**I do not own Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does blah blah blah!**

CHAPTER 8 – TRAITOR

_Previously…_

_"Edward," I commanded, "What's going on?"_

_"They're here….to finish what Victoria started…"_

"What?!" I shouted, "What the hell do you mean their here to finish what she started?!"

"Exactly what it means, Bella," Nori spoke up.

"Nori," I shook my head, "Why?"

"Oh, please. For a vampire you're actually pretty dim," she laughed evilly.

I suddenly gasped, "In Africa, when we killed Victoria, she…she said you're name…you knew her didn't you!" I jabbed my finger at her.

"Yes, yes she did. We were long time friends, way before your time, but see the problem was is that James never loved her. He just needed someone to do his bidding. But in order for that to happen, we had to pretend that we weren't together. See, I was his true mate. We were lovers," she said looking off into the distance, "We had the whole world in our hands," she focused her eyes back on me, "Until you took that away from me."

"But you weren't even _there_! The day everything happened," I said, uneasy.

"Oh, I was," she stared at me with razor sharp eyes, "But too far away to hear or sniff me out. I was there, hidden in the ballet studio. I was going to wait for him to make the kill then I was going to come out and…feast with him," her eyebrows rose at the undercurrent in her tone, "And then you," she jerked her glare towards Edward, "took him from me, my only true love," her eyes glistened with longing, "And now, since I've lost him…it's time karma come back around and burn you."

"Nori," Edward warned her, "Don't."

But as Nori was about to launch for an attack, six dark, familiar shapes had leapt over the balcony and guarded our sides. Nori stood up as eight pairs of angry vampire eyes stared her and Ryan.

Nori whipped her head towards Ryan and yelled, "Now!" and we all watched in shock as Ryan slowly began to shimmer on the edges of his body.

I heard Esme suck in a sharp breath along with me. Ryan completely blurred out and in his place was a small eight-year-old boy.

"Hello, Bella," he said in the exact same accent as Ryan.

"Ryan?" I said disbelief coating my voice.

"In the flesh," he smiled evilly as dimples turned up on his baby face.

I was about to choke out another question when Nori grabbed the child's hair roughly, and stretched his head back, leaving his neck exposed…and bit him.

"Nooooo," I screamed as Edward locked my waist in his iron grip while I tried to charge at Nori. The child screamed in agony and went limp from the pain.

Nori gathered him up in her arms and jumped off the balcony and fled into the woods.

I was able to maneuver out Edward's grasp but as I made an attempt to leap over the balcony as well and go after her, Edward yelled, "Stop her! Don't let Bella go after her!" and three pairs of hands clamped down on my shoulders, arms, and legs.

"Let go," I screeched, "We can't let that _thing_ she created escape!" **(A/N: In this version, we're all just going to assume that she knows the severity of turning a child into a vampire)**

"Bella, sit," Esme's voice cut through the night air. I stopped in my tracks and blanched. We all stared at her because in all our years we had never heard Esme talk like that, "Now, Edward," her voice was back to normal but carried a firm undercurrent to it, "please tell us what the hell just happened."

"That child…was Ryan," Edward seemed to be in a daze, "He is some sort of shape shifter. Though why Nori would turn him into a vampire, I'm not sure…what makes it worse is he was a child when it happened. If I'm not mistaken, from the thoughts I was gathering, he knew he would be stuck as a child, that his power wouldn't cross over with him. And Nori has a way of blocking her thoughts from people's mind."

"Does she not know the severity of what she's done?" Carlisle asked, "Surely living for a rather long time, she should know about Irina, Kate, and Tanya's mother!"

"I'm not too sure," Edward mumbled.

"Well, we need to turn her in to the Volturi," Jasper said, "A crime like that can't go unnoticed."

And out of nowhere Alice gasped loudly. Jasper let go of me and ran to her side, "Alice, what is it?"

"Nori!" she choked out, "She's going to the Volturi. She's going to frame us for Ryan's turning."

All of the vampires standing on the balcony, including me, gasped at once.

"We have to go," Edward said.

"Edward, wait," Alice said, grabbing his arm as I was hoisted from my sitting position by Carlisle and Emmett.

We all stood in silence as they had a private conversation.

"Care to share with the rest of the group," Rosalie stated plainly.

"If we act too fast, Nori will rush into it. And we'll be done for," Alice explained, "Nori will have to wait three days for Ryan to complete the transformation. Until then, we have to think of a strategy."

"Then we'll catch a flight out tonight," Edward stated.

Alice paused as she glanced into the future, "It's no use," she said, coming back down to Earth, "there are no flights until tomorrow morning."

"Damn it," Edward muttered under his breath.

"We can drive out to Seattle and stay in a hotel and wait for the earliest morning flight," Carlisle said, suddenly taking charge. And I watched as none of the others contested his decision.

"Then we need to leave now," Edward said, "The earlier we get there the more prepared we can be. Bella," I was jolted as Edward finally addressed me, "Are you calm enough now?"

"Yes," I said, now that a plan was put in motion. And Carlisle and Emmett let go of me as I slowly walked towards Edward and he put his arm around my waist protectively.

"Edward," Carlisle said, "You take Bella, Alice, and Jasper in your car. We'll meet up back at the house to grab a few things and Rosalie, Esme, Emmett and I will take the Mercedes on down to Seattle while the three of you stop and hunt," then Carlisle jumped down from the balcony and was followed by the other three.

Edward walked over to the balcony, holding my hand as we jumped down in unison with Jasper and Alice right at our heels, "Edward," I said, "I don't need to hunt I'm fine."

He stopped and turned to look at me as Jasper and Alice passed us and headed towards the silver Volvo, "You obviously don't look into a mirror often," he said, running a finger down the side of my cheek, "You're eyes are almost onyx, love, and the shadows around your eyes are very dark."

I sighed, knowing he would win somehow, "Okay."

When we got to their house, there were barely any lights on except for the kitchen and dining room. We walked through and saw the others shuffling around and packing duffle bags full of clothes and what looked like blood bags. My throat burned harshly from the thirst and I swallowed hard. I decided to take a seat at one of the dining table chairs and observed everybody to distract myself.

I watched Rosalie climb down the stairs as she fixed a French braid on her head. My eyebrows pulled together. She was never known for wearing her hair _up_. Esme's hair was up also in a pony tail.

Edward came and rested his chin on my shoulder, "What's the matter?"

"Everyone's acting strange," I said low enough for only his ears, "as if they're preparing for something big. I mean, I just thought we waltz in, tell the Volturi what Nori did, and be done."

I could feel his jaw clench beside me, "When we step up in front of the Volturi, we have to be very careful on how we word things. If Aro sees any type of bad thought in my head, we could be ruined. But there's also a chance that Nori could get there before us."

"But she's set back by Ryan. He wont be good to go until three days from now," I said, confused.

"When I was reading some of Nori's thoughts, before she blocked them, she and Aro seem to go a ways back. So there's a possibility that, yes, we could get there before her, but if Aro's on her side, he's more likely to believe her over us. And with her special ability, she can control what thoughts he sees and doesn't see. So she could replace her face biting Ryan with yours and have us all standing around, looking as if we were a part of it."

"We have to stop her," I said through clenched teeth.

Edward slid his arms down mine and forced my hands – which were grabbing a hold of the oak table – to relax. I knew he was keeping me from breaking it to pieces. Which I knew I could.

"Edward," Carlisle came around the corner, "We're off. We'll meet you there."

"Alright," Edward stood up and brought me with him. We walked out the back door where Alice and Jasper were standing.

"The quickest meal is to the east," Alice said, "About ten miles away."

I let go of Edwards hand as I got a whiff of the herd of elk. I heard the others take in deep breaths as well. And before I knew it, I was off, running at top speed. The animal taking over the human. Edward caught up to me in record time as I felt Alice behind me and Jasper flanking her. I realized this was my first time ever hunting with any of them. And I finally comprehended why Alice was the best to have along. I burst through the clearing and attacked the first elk I saw.

The others were going for thirds while I was slowly getting done with the first one. I lifted the carcass off of me.

I caught Edward staring at me, but said nothing. I started on number two and soon found myself stuffed to the brim.

"Oh, God," I moaned as I lay sprawled on the ground.

"Yes?" Edward said.

"Ha ha," I peeked through one eye.

"Come on," he hoisted me up and we walked back to the car.

As we were driving, I suddenly realized what I was _wearing_, which was practically my dinner, "Um, Edward?"

"Hmm?" he said as he squeezed our entwined fingers gently.

"Uh, I don't think it's going to look good when I walk through the hotel looking like this," I said.

Edward turned and did a double take, "_Oh!_"

"Yeah."

"Well, the next exit has a shopping center I believe. We can stop there and get you some clothes," he said.

"Shopping?!" Alice jerked her head in between our seats.

"No!" I blurted before I could stop myself, "You can stay here. I will do my own shopping, thank you very much."

But I regretted saying the moment they left my mouth because Alice put on her best pouty face and stared at me with her amber orbs, "Fine!" I threw my head back against the headrest.

I heard Alice squeak in pleasure and sighed as Edward got off the interstate and contemplated planning an escape route….

**(A/N: There ya go! Enjoy! And yes I know! It's real late. Be glad it wasn't as long as the other update! Lol ~3wordsnevertold)**


	10. Chapter 9 Secret Weapon

**(Well, here's chapter 9! I hope ya'll enjoyed the last chapter because I was very proud of myself for finally thinking up a good plot. Just as a heads up, it's going to get pretty fluffy. Enjoy! :D )**

CHAPTER 9 – SECRET WEAPON

_Previously…_

_I heard Alice squeak in pleasure and sighed as Edward got off the interstate and contemplated planning an escape route…._

I walked through the clothing store with dread. Alice had gone completely bonkers the moment she walked through the door. I pulled the coast Jasper had leant me to cover up my dress closer to my body. It was interesting; I had never smelled Jasper's scent before until now. It was too spicy for me. It smelled of cinnamon, nutmeg, and a hint of vanilla. And somehow Alice's scent matched up with his perfectly.

Edward had seen my discomfort in being in this store and firmly talked Alice into three inconspicuous outfits, "Preferably something that Bella would wear on a regular basis."

She fought with him a little bit on it but realized that it was probably for the better. Edward and I held hands lazily as we walked around the store. Every now and then he'd plant a kiss on my temple or the top of my head. With each one, I could feel butterflies flit around in my stomach. But I was glad I couldn't blush anymore or my face would've been the color of and apple the rest of the day.

We walked past a ring section as I stared at the beautiful rings and necklaces on display. When I saw a ring with a jewel the exact same shade as Edward's eyes strung on a silver band and surrounded by tiny diamonds. I touched the glass in awe. It was as if they had specifically made it to match his eyes. They even sparkled like his did! I should've looked away sooner because Edward started asking prices on it. And when the man said 1200 for it I almost choked.

"Um, that's okay I don't really need," I smiled sweetly at the man and pulled Edward along with me, "You don't have to do that. Alice is mostly likely going to spend that on just three outfits."

Edward stopped us both and turned me to face him. He cupped my face in his hands and forced me to look in his eyes, "Bella, I did it because I wanted to," he smiled his crooked smile, "I could tell you really liked it, and be it far from me not to give you what you want."

"But I already have what I want," I stared up at him, "I don't need a ring to tell me that."

"It would be more of a memento," his eyes were pleading with me.

"No," I laughed as I pulled out of his grasp and went back to twining our fingers together.

I knew he wanted to fight with me about it, but thankfully Alice showed up at that moment with two shopping bags, "I promise I was good. Even more than good really! Now come one Carlisle's got our rooms ready."

We drove the rest of the way without stopping. I kept Jasper's jacket on until we got to our room. Edward found Carlisle's car and the room with ease. I smirked a little, knowing it was his mind reading doing the real work. He knocked on the door lightly and Carlisle opened it. I could see Esme in the background mindlessly flipping through channels. My eyebrows knit together when I saw no sign of Rose or Emmett. Just then Carlisle handed Edward and Alice room keys.

"Oh," I muttered to myself, putting it together.

"We thought everyone would like their own room for the night," Carlisle smiled at us.

"Thank you," Edward said.

"Oh, and we'll meet at eight o'clock tomorrow morning," Carlisle said, "You all have a wonderful evening," before shutting the door.  
Alice walked back to the car and gave me my bags. Then Edward and I headed to our room which was right next to Alice and Jasper's. Carlisle's was two up from ours and I assumed that the one in between his and Alice's was Rose and Emmett's.

Edward opened the door and ushered me to go in first. He shut the door behind him and even turned the padlock for extra comfort. I set down my bags on the king size bed and looked around.

We were somewhere in the middle of the city. I headed straight for the curtains and pulled them back. The city lights shined brightly…or maybe they were bright because of my enhanced eyes. I turned around as Edward was turning on lamps. I dug through the clothes and let out a breath of relief that I hadn't even known I was holding. They were normal clothes. Well, as close to normal as Alice could get. I headed to the bathroom to take a shower and change clothes.

I pulled on the black ensemble and rolled my eyes. The outfit is nothing but black which tells me that Alice is trying to be sarcastic. I sigh and begin to blow dry my hair. Even after being washed it's still retaining some of its curls. I attempted to somewhat fix the smudged makeup on my face by dabbing a paper towel with water and wiping it off in a way that there is still a little left. I walked out of the bathroom and noticed that Edward was gone. I didn't worry, knowing that he'd be back soon. I walked over to the window and stared out at the scenery.

Seeing all the city lights was almost unsettling. I hadn't been near a city in _years_. The lights almost hurt my eyes. And I felt a sudden longing for the safety of the trees and vegetation. I closed my eyes and could almost smell pine and morning dew and the way it smelled after raining; when little raindrops rested in the leaves. My eyes pricked, but I laughed. I hadn't been away from home three hours and already I wanted to go back.

I heard the door open slowly and then click shut. I didn't turn around. I knew it was him. His arms slowly snaked around my waist as he rested in chin on my shoulder.

"You're cold, love," he said with a hint of a smile behind his voice.

I chuckle a little, "I'm always cold. I've been cold for nearly eighty years."

"You know what I mean," he mumbles.

"I'm just…thinking," I hesitated.

"About?" he pushed.

I turned around in his arms so I could face him, "I know you never wanted this for me. That's why you left. You were trying to save my soul. I just…I know how you feel. I didn't want it to be this way. I always thought I'd be with you. That one day I could finally talk you into it, maybe cut a deal with you," I smirked, "When I was turned, I was woken up into a world I wasn't prepared for. Everything was bright, loud, and chaotic. And I was utterly alone. I had no one there to steady me. To tell me what was going on. I know I said that my first kill was a mountain lion – and it was – but after I fled from Forks. I…I ran into some hikers," my voice hitched from the dry tears and he held me tighter, "And…you can guess what probably happened. I'm not saying this to cause you pain or to try to make you feel worse than you already do."

"Then why are you telling me?" he asked softly staring into my eyes.

"To let you know that you're not the only one who's made mistakes in their life," I said sadly, "That I'm not far from where you stand. My soul is as damned as yours," I laughed humorlessly.

This pulled him up short and he gripped the tops of my shoulders, "_Do not ever say that_! You are the most perfect creature I've ever seen. One mistake will not damn you. I've made thousands. The worst being when I left you," he said the last sentence with so much sadness I wrapped my arms around him and held him to me.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you, too," he smiled and then kissed me softly, "I have something for you."

"Oh no," I backed away laughing.

He pulled out a black velvet box and opened it. Inside sat the exact ring that I saw earlier today, "Edward," my voice was barely audible.

"It's a promise, a reminder that you will always have me, Ms. Swan. No matter what you plan to do with me, I am yours forever and I will never leave your side ever again," he stared at me with those _eyes_. The ones that make me do whatever he wants me to, "If we survive this, will you marry me?"

I sucked in a sharp breath. My mind raced at a hundred miles an hour. I had known in the back of my mind that this day was going to come at some point. That he was going to ask for my hand. On any other occasion I would've evaded the subject. But now, now that we were the same, now that I finally had him, now that I had forever to be with him, what more perfect way than to tie myself to him, and he to I? "Yes," I squeaked.

His face broke out into a huge smile and he place the ring on my finger. It fit perfectly and he gleamed with excitement. And he kissed me fiercer than he had since I'd known him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and carried us over to the bed. I pushed the bags out of the way as I leaned him back against the pillows. My hair came down and acted as a curtain, blotting the outside world out of existence so that it was just me and him.

He rolled us over and pinned me against the mattress. He let out a growl against my neck and before I knew it my back arched in pleasure. I yanked of his shirt as he lowered the shoulder of my sweater and kissed the delicate skin now. I realized with butterflies in my stomach, that I was as durable as he was, that he didn't have to worry about losing control or hurting me; that we could go further if we wanted.

He hiked my leg up against his waist and ran his hand down to the base of my sweater where he slowly went underneath and moved his hand against my waist and back down again. I let out a purr of pleasure before I could stop it. He played with the hem of it as I whimpered, wanting him to take it off. He chuckled slightly, knowing he was teasing.

I growled as I let go of him and reached for the bottom of the sweater, "If you're not going to do it-."

"Bella," he warned, pinning my hands above me.

"Then take it off," I growled as I writhed beneath him.

"Not tonight, love," he mumbled before letting go of me and flitting all the way across the room.

"What?!" I sat up, shocked, "The _hell_ it is!" I said as I began yanking off my boots and stockings. But when I reached for my sweater dress he darted back over and pinned my hands again, this time to the wall.

**(A/N: Know it's a little out of character for Bella especially if you've read Eclipse **spoilers** in this version I thought maybe now that she's as strong as he is, she'd put up more of a fight because her safety isn't really stopping them. Anyways, back to the story!)**

"Bella," he said firmly, "I said no."

"And _I _said yes," I argued, "Do you really want to cross me, Cullen?"

"Cullen?" he chuckled.

This only fueled my anger, "Well if you didn't want it then you should've said something _before_ you started making me feel certain things," I pushed him off of me and plopped on the other side of the bed facing away from him and pouted. It was childish I knew, but he made me so furious sometimes.

I felt him sit next to me and I turned away from him. I could hear him chuckle just barely. But he tried to hide it, "You're so cute when you're angry."

"Glad I can entertain you," I said curtly.

"Love," he said rubbing my arm, "I'm sorry if I let us…get carried away. But you have to understand why I'm refusing it tonight."  
"It'd better be a _damn_ good reason, Edward Anthony Mason Cullen," I said still refusing to look at him.

"Well, I'd be more comfortable if you were facing me," he said as he pulled on my waist, trying to turn me around.

I sighed deeply and turned to face him, but I focused on a tiny crack in the wall right past his head and not him, knowing that he'd try to get me again with his eyes, "What?"

He pulled my chin and forced me to look directly at him, "We've both made mistakes. And if there's a chance that you might not be damned then I want to try every single thing to keep you from it. I promise after we get married, we will."

"And what if we don't survive this? Let's say Aro believes Nori and kills all of us? What then? I just want this one thing to remember you by so I have something to look at before they kill me. So I can make you mine in a very special way. If we're going to die tomorrow, why can't we have this one thing? Tell me that," my eyes pricked for the billionth time tonight.

"Bella," he held me close and rubbed my arms forcing the ice to go away, "We _will_ survive, the Volturi have to listen. They can't just believe her and then kill us without hearing our side. How would Aro look if he did that? He cares extremely about what others think of him. He won't put his reputation on the line like that."

"Are you sure?" I said doubtfully.

"Of course I'm sure," he laughed, "If I wasn't, do you think you'd still have your clothes on?"

I sighed and relaxed against him. I knew he was right. I had never met Aro or any of the Volturi before, but the paintings Carlisle had gave proof that Aro did care. That all of them did. If we were going to fight, I wanted to fight back. Not just give up and let them kill us. We were guilty of nothing. And I'd be damned if I got blamed for something I know I didn't do.

"Hmmm?" Edward said.

"I didn't say anything," I said, still lost in thought.

Edward pulled back and looked at me, "No, Bella, you said something. I _know_ you did," his eyebrows knit together.

"I think you're hearing things," I laughed and then it dawned on me an I gasped.

"Bella," he looked at me wide eyed, "I…I think I read your mind!" Just as I was about to say it as well

Then he said, "I think we just found our secret weapon…"

**(A/N: Oh so many twists! ^_^ I should start calling myself M. Night Shyamalan! Haha! Anyways, will try to update soon! Please review! But be nice I am a sensitive human being…lol)**


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